In recent time, the statistics of suicides
among the students are shaken the whole education system and educationalists along
with the parents very badly. India has one of the world’s highest rates of
suicides among people, aged between 15 -29 years, ranged from 30 to 40 people
per 100,000 [1]. There could be
numerous diversified reasons can be enlisted behind this but consequences are devastating,
not only to parents but to society & nation too. Some basic risk factors
enlisted by psychologists [2] for suicides
are as below:
- 1.
New environment
- 2.
Loss of a social network
- 3.
Loss of the safety net found at home
- 4.
Pressure academically or socially
- 5.
Isolation and alienation
- 6.
Lack of coping skills
- 7.
Difficulty adjusting to new demands of college
life
- 8.
Decreased academic performance and subsequent
feelings of failure
- 9.
Experimentation with drugs and alcohol
However, in present issue, I would like to
discuss only a small portion of whole picture, to which, I would like to start
with few questions to Indian parents?
- · Is there any difference between resources
manager/ financier, and parent?
- ·
Does parent knows what their child is doing at
given point of time?
- ·
Does parent knows how many and which kind friends,
their child is nurturing?
- · Does parent tell their child “you are my primary
concern than your achievements” before imposing their ambitions?
- ·
Does your child addicted to something & if so,
how he or she manages money for it?
- · Besides, your set questionnaires, like how much
percentages will you achieve in coming examination etc, how much time you spend
daily?
Today, most of parents are very much busy
in earning money and resources to their children and some of them even adopt
wrong way for securing their future. Though, hardly sit for even half an hour
to have words with them. In fact, everyone is doing every possible thing to
secure the future of their ward, at least what parents are saying. Of course, time
is changing and competitions are not only confined to the children, but are
with the parents also. So, let’s explain your constraint with your child. But do
explain it to them and try to establish a balance between your growth and the
growth of children. However, parents have to be utmost honest while they will
explain their problems to their kids, because sometime ego penetrates into the emotions
in various shape & form, very silently.
In past time, since, the grand parents of
the kids were also with them, so these conversations with children usually
don’t break, rather stronger, which are usually not a case at present. Thus,
this responsibility has ultimately come to the parent now. Moreover, keep in
mind that your kid is not an object to dispense your anxiety or anger, which is
absolutely your headache. It doesn't mean you don’t punish or treat the kids. The
worst punishment is to avoid them, so usually avoid it. Yes, parents are not
child psychologist and accordingly it can’t’ be expected to them for an arithmetically
calculated treatment, but your emotional support will be cope up the negativity
of your punishment. I am of opinion that rather than punishment the serious
talk with the children regarding issue shall be more impact-full.
And now, the most important issue which is
responsible for suicide is ambition of parents. However, imposing your ambition
to kid is not a sin providing if it could be justified logically. And, before imposing
your ambitions, parents must understand that every child has unique sets of
talents and it is your most important responsibility to work out the skills, your
child is possessing. Thereafter you can have several dialogues with child to
decide what kind of field shall be the best to explore the skill of child. Another,
equally important issue is, parents shouldn't focus on the results of kids but
on their efforts with optimistic outlook and should always stand with results whatever
it may be. Please note that if you wouldn't be optimistic with the results of your
child, how you could expect the same from them. Let them realize that you (son/daughter)
are most important to me than your achievements but yes, I shall be the happiest
with your achievements.
The best thing is especially present time that you
will have so many avenues at each turning point so never be hopeless for any unpleasant
result.
